In the Depths

"I'm Single". The two most interesting words I've ever come across. Interesting cause they make one either look at you with contempt thinking there must be something terribly wrong with you OR with a lot of respect thinking you are a guy who doesn't sell cheap to anyone.

I have been judged in both respects by almost everyone I know for sometime (almost a year) now. Everyone in my friend circle is either coupled or married. Being the only single guy among a group of friends can be interesting yet difficult sometimes.

The first thing everyone is curious to know is - WHY are you still SINGLE? There is a conundrum involved in the answer.
Thats cause there are only honest two possible answers to this - 1) Lack of options or 2) Still waiting for that special someone.

Whichever I choose as my answer doesn't matter. That's cause everyone's interpretation of the answer is different.

Lemme explain it a bit. Lets start with 1) Lack of options : There are some usual reasons for having lack of options. Either one is a ghastly looking pot bellied hairy beast whose breath smells of rats excreta with no money and future prospects.

Well that could be one of the reasons for me being single in an alternate reality, cause in this one to say the least I got no such problems. Being tolerably handsome and a little above a personal poverty line, to being educated enough to not require a BPO or KPO as paymasters in this lifetime, I got it covered. Then why still lack of options You may ask. Well let me dwell a little deeper into this mystery.

I haven't been always single you see. I have had my fair share of romantic escapades for many years now. The trouble is none of it lasted. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was her and sometimes it was the fear of unknown (love, marriage, career all inclusive). My friends always wonder why out of everyone they know is a guy like Gaurav still single. Want me to be brutally honest? Lack of options. What exactly are these options that I've been cribbing about for so long now? Well let's start with "single" women. Where are they?! I mean like they are almost extinct in my dictionary. Where are the 24-25 old single women
who are interesting, educated and pretty? Nowhere to be found if you ask me. Either they are all spoken for, coupling or married. And even if they are there, I am really zapped about where to find them. Hmm.. Hotspots to hangout for single pretty ladies? LoL.. DOESN'T EXIST. I mean it's not that I haven't tried. I have tried the places where I'm likely to meet interesting single women. Clubs, lounges, Internet, book cafe's etc to be some of them. Heck i have even stooped to the level of asking my friends and their wives or gf's to hook me up with some of their single women friends but without much success.

There was a time when women were a dime a dozen. I had enough dates to fill up a whole calender. The trouble is that.. I used to think this can and will continue forever. Damn! Was I wrong. I really don't know what happens to women who are over 22/23 in Indian context. They get this sudden rush for finding a committed guy. Now this guy might not be good looking, he might not
have a 5 year plan either. Just as long he is committed, he will do. Too bad I wasn't this guy when I was 22/23.. i was just having a lot of fun n fooling around. That's cause I thought I can pull off this phase for a next few years to say atleast. I was wrong. I was so so wrong. Not only did the options started becoming scarce, there came a point that I became kind of desperate and was accepting anyone coming my way just as long as she had the female anatomy. Then one day, I just gave up on all this and put all my focus and energy on my work. It payed off quite well too!!

Well and that's what I have been doing for the past 1 whole year! "Being Single" and actually enjoying it! After all What's wrong with being single? A whole lot if you go by what you see around you. Whether you visit a bookstore or a library, watch television, go to the movies, listen to friends and family, adopt the values of society, or read the newspaper, messages about couplehood prevail. Little is spoken about being single, except as a condition to avoid like the plague. In the dawn of a new millennium, it's time to say what being single is really all about.

1) Being Single I don't have to tolerate moodiness & nagging.
2) I can appreciate my independence
3) I can control my finances
4) I have more time for activities
5) I don't have to focus on other persons annoying personal habits
6) I can be spontaneous
7) I can focus much better on my work n career
8) I can be my own boss
9) I can date and flirt as I please without having any guilt or fear
10) I can get an early good nights sleep without having to be on the phone till 2:00 a.m.

Coming down to my second answer - "I haven't met someone special.." Well that's a lie. I believe all the women I have been with have been special to me in their own unique way. They taught me so much about all that I knew so less. Even though it didn't work out between me n them, it doesn't matter cause I don't blame them. It was me.. I just wasn't ready to commit.

There I said it.. I had commitment issues. The reasons were simple.. business was good and I was in demand. Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, feul, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy...Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 kms," and he thinks, "I can make it." Sometimes he can, sometimes he can't. Sometimes, the car ends up on the side of the road, hood up and smoke pouring out of the engine. He's sitting on the curb all alone, "I guess I didn't realize how many miles I was racking up".

Now when i'm almost 26 and all the good single women are almost out of sight, I realize the mistakes I have done. If there is one important lesson that I have learnt over the years, is that life is not static. Things change, people change and life moves on. But there are always a few special people "unique" in their ways who you just do not let go thinking that I can get someone better. Cause quite honestly.. there isn't such a thing as a perfect girl or guy. It's just about trying to make stuff work even if things are not going smooth. It's more about giving than taking. It's about being comfortable as who you are at that very moment and not caring about what future holds in stored. I realize all this now after being single for a whole year.

But things are looking optimistic to me. I think all hope is not lost. I am still not giving up on me. I know that there is a girl out there for me. She just doesn't know it yet. It doesn't matter how much time it might take me to find her. cause
till then, I am going to make the most of my singledom, as this time when I do find her, I am not letting go.