Gods must be crazy!!


Oh it's true.. it's true.. at least in some pretexts of religious rituals and their aftermath. This text is not written to hurt the sentiments of the people of my religion, but to mock why we do what we do. Case in point - the festival of lights, A.K.A - Diwali and the festival of color, A.K.A Holi.

Lets begin with A BANG! quite literally. Diwali! The festival is celebrated all across the nation and is cherished and loved by people of all religions ( I wonder why ).
Now diwali was first celebrated in the time of lord Rama on his homecoming to Ayodhya after kicking Ravana's butt. The ayodhayans lit the city up with diya's and candles or so I've heard (of course there was no Edison back then.. hence no 100 watt light bulb). Now there wasn't much progress in the gunpowder department either according to Mr. Ramanand Sagar's epic serial Ramanaya which by the way ruined my chances to watch my favorite Mickey n Donald show on the alternate doordarshan channel aired at the same time as ramayana cuz my family would get glued to the set. Coming back to my point..

Since there was no gunpowder, I am guessing that there would have been no fire crackers either. Now some useless gyan - gunpowder was invented in China, it was used to fill in bamboo tubes and when lighted, produced loud explosions. Firecrackers came to be called baozhang (exploding sticks), a name still used in certain regions. According to the Song Dynasty work Origins of Things, the first scientist who used gunpowder for crackers was Ma Jun of the period of the Three Kingdoms (220-265), which puts their beginning at 1,700 years ago.

Now comes couple of important observational questions:

1) When/why the F*ck did the firecracker become associated with Diwali?
2) How does polluting the environment every year for almost a week before/after and on the actual day help to please the Gods?
3) Is the government made of illiterate, stupid or deaf people who are not willing to ban the crackers?

Already the city I live in is like the super polluted city of this planet, then why do people make it a point every year to f*ck things up further?

Let me present an alternate to the cracker craving for my fellow indians. You take a 50/100/500 rupee note and tear it. No pollution and no sound with the same damage your pocket effect. Yiiipiiieee Happy Diwali!!

Lets come down to Holi.. It is one occasion when sprinkling colored powder ('gulal') or colored water on each other breaks all barriers of discrimination so that everyone looks the same and universal brotherhood is reaffirmed. This is one simple reason to participate in this colorful festival right?! WRONG!! It's the festival of waste... Every year for some weird reason,we Indians get another craving to canvas themselves in weird colors, act like chimps in heat and get stoned/drunk in the name of GOD and unity.. Weird huh.. Which "GOD" says that if u wanna please me, then act like an Idiot? Seriously.. u put on all that color (f*ckin up your skin and hair), only to waste 50 liters of water per person to wash it off.. Seriously in which Hindu scripture or religious text is this deadly recipe of ritual given to be followed.. I would like get a copy. Of course
I'm positive that you don't need a gimmic like color to feel united or brotherly!?

We forget if mother nature can give us, then it can "Take it Back" as rightly sung by Floyd. So please fellow Indians.. celebrate.. but with respect and responsibility towards our environment. Enjoy! but not at the cost of the generations to come. You get one life to make a difference.. so please make it worth.

2 comments:

On Holi-
it gives some uptight serious types a chance to act loony and maybe, just maybe feel liberated for a day.
And it gives people a really really good bath.
And lastly, doesnt burn a hole in one's pocket, unlike Diwali.
Not so bad, dont u think?

November 25, 2007 at 9:10 PM  

well maybe a good bath is required. so we should take the annual bathers and throw them in the sea :) lol... Doesn't burn a hole in one's pocket.. true.. does burn mother nature's heart to see all that water go down the drain :P

November 26, 2007 at 5:54 AM  

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